Links Mentioned in this episode
Show Transcript
There is always that one kid. You know the one I’m talking about–the one who will not cooperate no matter what you try. On today’s episode, I’m sharing trauma informed strategies that I use at the beginning of this school year to set students for behavioral success.
Welcome to Beyond the Bedlam Episode 18. If you’ve ever struggled to get a student to cooperate, this episode is for you!
Welcome, friend! This is Lauren McKenzie, and you’re listening to Beyond the Bedlam, a podcast for teacher moms. If you’re new here I’m a teacher who loves to help others make strategic and simple shifts so they can win at home and at school. If you’re overwhelmed, have no time for yourself, and wish someone could help you get a game plan together, you’re in the right place. So, turn up the volume straighten your teacher mom tiara, and get ready to win!
1:04–Win With Kids Workshop
This episode is brought to you by Win With Kids–a roadmap for helping students cooperate without drama. To get access to this professional development opportunity and resources visit https://beyondthebedlam.com/win.
1:30–Three Things I do to Set Students Up for Behavior Success
At the time that this episode is airing, teachers here in the United States are going to be super busy with back to school and all of the things that go with it. So I’m going to cut to the chase today and share only the good stuff with you, no fluff. The title of this episode is “Setting Students Up for Behavior Success.” So, I thought I would share the three things that I do in my classroom that set students up for success with their behavior.
2:00–Make it About the “We”–not the “Me.”
The first thing is I make it about the we, not the me. Here’s what I mean by that: As a grown up, and just as a human being in general, I sometimes have a tendency to want things to be centered around myself, you know. But the truth of the matter is that students will have a better probability of success with their behavior, if we make it about THEM instead of about the grownups. So I strive to do that in our classroom. One of the really practical ways that I do that is I do not introduce rules in my classroom until I’ve established some rapport with my students. Because I really feel that students really don’t have a reason to follow my instructions, unless they have a reason to trust me. I work really hard on building trust and rapport with them in those first moments and days that I am there teaching.
I had a really good example of why this is important that happened in my classroom last year. For the purpose of this show, we’re going to call my student’s name Andrew. It was April or May of this past school year, and we had been playing a behavior game in our classroom, kind of as an incentive situation. Andrew wanted something different than the rest of his class on the behavior game outcome. I was trying to do something nice for the class, so I asked him, “Do you trust me?” And he looked at me dead in the eyes and said, “Can I be honest?” And I said, “Well, of course.” Then he said, “No, I don’t trust you.” In this particular situation, my student was not being disrespectful towards me. And he, to be honest, was never really disrespectful in my class. Ever. But I felt honored that he would be so bold as to ask that question and tell the truth. When I gave him the opportunity to share the feelings with me, it was really eye opening to me because this is not new territory for me. I’ve been working on building relationships with students for 15 years in the classroom now. So to have a student be brave enough to say, “Hey, no, I don’t trust you.” That’s a big deal to me and a great reminder that I still need to be about making it about the “We” and not the me. So that is item number one.
4:50–Establish Clear Routines, Procedures, and Boundaries
Item number two to help set students up for behavior success is to establish clear routines, procedures, and boundaries. Now if you’ve been listening to this podcast for a while, you know that I am a specialist in our school. So I don’t have the luxury of taking a couple of days for the first week of school to establish routines and procedures. I see every student in the school for 30 minutes a week and that is it. So time is of essence here. But even still, the first class that they come in my classroom is all about fun, and I infuse procedures as fun activities are introduced.
My favorite example of of introducing a routine and its procedure, but still having a good time is easy! Now we have fun in my kindergarten music classes! I have a little puppet friend and his name is Music Bird. He gets very offended when you say the “p word”, and in fact sometimes he leaves when he hears somebody use that word in the music room! But Music Bird is introduced in the very first lesson, the very first time that students come into the classroom. The reason that I do that is because he comes to almost every music class that they will come to in my classroom during kindergarten. I use Music Bird to teach students how to follow directions or to correct students so that I don’t have to correct them. They receive those instructions that are from an inanimate object better than from me sometimes. So I love to introduce him right out the gate on the very first day of school! Really, Music Bird is, quite frankly, the co host of kindergarten music, so it’s really important for me to let the students meet him. They think they’re having a great time and really I’m starting to establish rules and boundaries with them. So that’s an example of a way that I introduce rules boundaries and procedures without without saying, “Okay, boys and girls rule number one is this.” So that’s just one approach that you could take. And when I do actually introduce the actual roles that are in my classroom, I try to find ways to make them fun. I have students, especially in my older grades, that love to demonstrate doing things poorly, and then demonstrate how to do things correctly. So we rehearse and we repeat, and we rehearse all of the things that great teachers do anyway. It’s so critical to give some direct instruction. In this particular area. I even demonstrate things like how do you get sick properly in my classroom. And so those are things that little kids just don’t know sometimes. So we laugh about it. We have a good time. And we’re trying to do it at the beginning of the year when nobody’s getting sick anyway. So whatever you do, take the time to establish those clear routines, procedures and boundaries with your students of any age. I’ve spent at least one year of my career teaching every grade for pre K all the way through. And I have told people time and time again 12th graders are ginormous toddlers. And the same is true for any other grade level. Toddlers need clear routines, procedures and boundaries, so you give clear instructions.
8:42–Celebrate ALL THE TIME!
Okay, so make it about the we, not the me, establish your routines, procedures or boundaries. And then the third thing that I do to set students up for behavior success is celebrate all the time! I find the smallest reason to celebrate kids. Everything from “I like your smile” to “You worked so hard today.” And on that note, if you’ve listened to the podcast for a minute, you know that Rhett (my husband) is a licensed professional counselor who specializes in children from hard places. He is a trauma specialist and has taught me how to be trauma informed in my classroom. One thing that he has taught me is really important is to strive to refrain from praising the outcome and instead praise the efforts that a child gives. So it’s not “I’m so proud of you for making 100 on your test.” It’s “I’m so proud that you worked hard and completed your review assignments so that you can do your best work on the test.” So it acknowledges the great work, but it praises the effort and the process instead of the outcome. So I find little things to celebrate, even if (and especially!) if a child is having a hard time with the content in my classroom.Even if it’s something like, “Wow, you were so thoughtful to hold the door for all of your friends while they walked in the room.” I’ve met many students who are unsure of their singing voice. I’m a music teacher. So sometimes students are shy about that particular skill. And so I look for a way to celebrate them in a way that helps them to feel confident and secure. And again, they can trust me so that I can help them move forward in their content learning.
Remember my friend Andrew from the story that I shared a few minutes ago? Well, when I asked him if he trusted me. I was trying to do something to celebrate him and all of his classmates. And I told you that a moment ago, but what I didn’t tell you was he and his classmates kind of discussed what he was wanting. versus what they were wanting in the game that we were playing, and they finally persuaded Andrew to get on their side and agree with the move that they were trying to make in this game. When he did agree, it turns out that I was trying to help move the class forward a little bit faster in the behavior game by giving them the gift of forward advancement. And because of that gift, they ended up beating the game that day and on the way out the door. And that meant prizes for everyone too! On the way out the door, I caught Andrew and I kind of gave him a fist bump and a smile, and I said, “Hey, do you trust me a little bit more now?” And he kind of tilted his head and was like “Yes ma’am, I do.” That situation brought so much tenderness is to my heart in that moment because it reminded me it’s so important to slow down and treasure those small trust building moments with students even if it is the very end of the school year because (in my case) I get to serve that student again. And it’s just so important to take that time and celebrate those small little wins along the way because you never know what impact those little things are going to have in a child’s life.
12:41–Classroom Management Doesn’t Have to Be All Games!
Classroom management doesn’t have to be fancy. It doesn’t have to be full of games and gimmicks either. Although I did share an example about a classroom management behavior game I was playing with a group of students earlier in this episode, the truth is most of my management is not a game. It’s just tried and true strategies that Rhett taught me while he was staffing cases with me at the kitchen sink. I would bring home a question about a student that was experiencing challenges with in my classroom. While we would do the dinner dishes that night, Rhett would just give me some strategies and ideas. And it was one question, one student at a time that taught me these management strategies that I use every single day in my classroom, with all almost 900 students ranging from four years old that are turning five at the beginning of kindergarten all the way to already turned 12 heading into sixth grade at the end of their time in my classroom.
13:52–First Steps
So where was it that I started when I started learning how to implement these management strategies? Well, I started with only one thing and that’s where everyone has to start–just taking the first step. For me. It was a mindset shift, making it about the we instead of the me and thinking about what’s good for kids. Maybe, yes, it’s going to be good for me because it’s good for kids, but maybe it’s going to be inconvenient. And I’m not going to love that. So how can I make it about them? How can I make it about the we in our classroom environment?
Then after I made that mindset shift, I added one strategy that was helpful to me and good for kids and families. You can do the same. You don’t have to be elaborate as you are setting students up for behavior success.
14:52–Permission to PIVOT!
If your school year has already started, what are you going to do? What if when you started your school year this year, you set up a huge, elaborate behavior system? Hey, guess what? Even if you’re in week two of school and you’re saying “Oh my word. I set up something that is so complicated and just hard to maintain.” I’m here to give you permission to pivot today. No one said that you have to follow through with something that’s not working and isn’t serving students well. So there’s your permission, whether you’re listening in week two or three of school and have already realized that something is awry or whether you’re listening to this episode, you know, in the middle or end of the school year and realizing my ship is sinking; what am I going to do? I’m here to give you permission right now to pivot.
15:47–Exact Steps to Take
If you’re interested in learning more about the exact strategies that I use in my classroom, including the language and the resources that I’ve used when working with students, I invite you to check out the Win With Kids Workshop Bundle available at https://beyondthebedlam.com/win.