Links Mentioned in tHis Episode
FREE RESOURCE: Cutting Chatter in the Classroom
Work with Lauren in One-on-One Coaching
Show Transcript
Welcome to Beyond the Bedlam, Episode 14!
Today I am sharing 3 shifts I’ve made in my classroom to keep from losing my sanity with classroom management! I hope these shifts I’ve made will be an inspiration and encouragement to you, and I pray that they help you to create your own teacher win!
Grab some caffeine and turn up your earbuds. This episode is full of information I hope will be a blessing to you!
Today’s show is all about the shifts I’ve made in my own classroom to help save my sanity. I hope one or more of these will inspire ideas that you can implement in your own classroom!
At the time of this recording, there are lots of teachers asking how to keep from losing their sanity over kids who won’t stop talking during class. Since this topic is a beast in and of itself, I have some special tips available for you related specifically to cutting chatter in the classroom.
If you’re looking for some fresh perspective in that area, feel free to check out a free resource I created for you at https://beyondthebedlam.com/chatterbox.
This resource combines my expertise as an educator who loves to talk with some of the genius of my husband, who is a licensed professional counselor specializing in children from hard places. It’s the perfect mix of practical and sensitive for today’s classroom!
I hope this will be an encouragement to you! Let’s get started on today’s topic!
As I have been preparing to share these ideas with you today, I realized that knowing a little bit about my story in coming around to these ideas may be helpful to you. I have a hunch some of you may be living a similar story to me!
Although my professional career in education did not begin until the fall of 2005, I’ve been educating for as long as I can remember. I started teaching in preschool, probably sometime around 1984 or 1985. My mom always joked that she knew exactly what happened at school because all she had to do was listen to me give my baby dolls and stuffed animals the “what for” when I lined them up on the bed to teach every day after school! My kindergarten teacher, Miss Brown, joked that if she ever needed to be absent, there was no need to get a sub; they could just ask me to fill in! By the time I was in high school, I was teaching classes of 2nd graders at church, following the lesson plans my mom created for me.
Fast forward to today. Here we are in 2022, and I’m still teaching! But somewhere along the way, I got frustrated and tired of “making” kids follow instructions. I’m not even entirely sure when this happened, but I remember feeling like students should cooperate because I was the professional; after all, I knew what I was doing. Why couldn’t they just respect me and the expertise I offered in the classroom? It was draining trying to do tricks to get them “on my team.” There was never any doubt that my classroom was under control, and I was often praised for good classroom management. But it seemed like I was working AWFULLY hard to get students’ cooperation, and it was just exhausting! I knew there had to be a better way.
In His kindness, God gave me a husband who is a licensed professional counselor who specializes in children from hard places. In plain English, that means he’s really awesome with kids who are challenging and come from traumatic circumstances. Rhett knew all along what I needed to do, and he even offered some ideas, but I was just not interested in taking classroom management advice from someone who had never spent an actual day in the classroom teaching children.
I have to be honest here and say that it is embarrassing to me now that I was too prideful to allow my own husband to speak truth into my life and learn from his expertise, but here we are. We’ve laughed for years that it’s “better late to the party than not at all” about lots of things, and this one is no exception. I was EPICLY late to this party, but I’m so thankful to have finally gotten on board! If you’re late to this party too, it’s ok. Just come late. Better late than never!
About 5 years ago, our son was in kindergarten, and having a “rough time” if you want to put it nicely. He had a heart of gold and was rambunctious and difficult to calm down. Trying to get people’s kids to cooperate with me all day at school and then going home to try to coerce Stephen into cooperating with me was just TOO much. I finally decided to listen. And what do you know? It turns out that my husband is an actual GENIUS when it comes to knowing what to do with disregulated kids who won’t cooperate.
So here I am still kicking it in the classroom, loving teaching, and enjoying my students more than ever! All 880 of them. That’s right. 880. I’m a specialist and teach every student in the school.
If I can do this, friends, so can you.
So what were the shifts I made in my classroom? Today I’m going to share the first three shifts I made to save my own sanity. They’re simple, but the most profound ones that helped me start a new chapter in my teacher life! And as a bonus–these are the SAME things that transformed my relationship with our son. We no longer wrangle with him to gain cooperation. He still has a heart of gold and is as strong willed as the day is long, but he is cooperative, helpful, and truly a delight! So whether you’re struggling with one child or a whole school full, this list is for you!
The first thing I did when I started a new chapter in classroom management style was to take cues from my students.
As much as I really just wanted to say what was going to happen and then give directions about how it was going to happen, I had to stop and realize that these are not miniature adults. These are real people with real feelings who woke up with real life circumstances that are majorly affecting how they interact with not only me, but also each other AND the content in my classroom! So, I had to start listening and watching. I had to read non-verbal cues. I had to start asking questions and put on my detective hat to figure out WHY they were behaving the way they were and address THAT instead of putting a bandaid on the unacceptable behavior that I was seeing.
I’m going to be honest, this was SO hard for me. I like to be in control. I like to have a plan. I like to design the plan, think through the plan, and not have people question why I carry out the plan a certain way.
So watching a child for cues was really humbling for me. I had to put my own needs and interests aside and look to their interests and concerns.
Sometimes, they were acting out because their pet was sick or they had a fight with a sibling or parent right before they hopped out of the car at carpool. Sometimes they misbehaved because they had a bad math lesson and brought that attitude into my classroom. Sometimes, they were thirsty or had to use the restroom, and they were embarrassed to ask, so instead they acted out!
There were a thousand different reasons kids weren’t cooperating easily with me, but at the end of the day, none of the exact reasons were really the culprit of the difficult management situation.
Hold onto your hats here, friends: *I* was the problem. Not the kids. I was so stuck in thinking things had to happen my way that I wasn’t mentally or emotionally ready to meet my students where they needed me to be.
When I decided to make it about the kids instead of me, EVERYTHING changed.
When I offered a tissue and a soft spot to “land” instead of a “I’m sorry you’re having a bad day, but you’re not going to have a bad day in here” response, students started getting on board with doing the right thing because it was the right thing to do.
See, meeting their need, whether it’s a bathroom break I don’t really have time to give or a reprieve from the sadness of a hard morning speaks VOLUMES to a kid. They don’t care what I have to say. They care how I treat them. And if we’re honest, adults are no different. People are people, and we all want to be treated with grace.
Treating students the way I would *like* to be treated and not the way they are currently treating me is single handedly the most important shift I have made in managing my classroom well. Really, it’s managing myself, my emotions, and my mindset!
So, I invite you to take a hard look at your mindset around classroom management. Is it about you or the kids? If it’s currently about you, what small change can you make tomorrow morning to help your students to feel loved and cared for? This is your golden ticket to willing cooperation from them!!!!! The ticket will cost you a lot in terms of adult inconveniences, but it’s well worth the price of admission!!!!
The second shift I made to help save my sanity in the classroom was to invite more movement!
I am REALLY fortunate that movement integrates seamlessly into the standards that I should be teaching in my classroom. But honestly, movement can be integrated into most any standard!
Before I share a few movement ideas with you, I want to share a little story. When I was growing up, my dad was a minister. He just retired two weeks ago at the time of this recording! One of the pastors that he served with when I was in high school said something that will stick with me as an ESSENTIAL educational philosophy for as long as I am teaching. One day, this particular pastor was asked how he always delivered messages that were full of great teaching and that he was able to finish preaching in a very small amount of time. His answer? “Oh that’s easy! The mind can only comprehend what the seat can stand!”
Wow! Just wow! What if EVERY teacher of people–kids, grown ups, EVERYONE–believed that the mind can only understand what your hiney can handle? This is SO important! And it’s actually true.
One of the first suggestions that Rhett gave me was to start using more frequent brain breaks for students. But he insisted that I use activities that were stimulating to the vestibular system.
If you’re like I was at the time, and have no idea what that means, here’s a two second crash course. Your vestibular system is primarily related to sensory receptacles in your inner ear, but it’s intensely connected to other things, especially your spinal column. Your vestibular system helps you to be aware of your body as it relates to time and space, and its stimulation can help you to experience a wide range of sensations from calming to alerting. In short, the vestibular system is a teacher’s best friend when it comes to helping kids regulate their behavior!
The way Rhett explains it sometimes is similar to a grown up being hungry in the middle of a meeting. You look at the clock, and it’s 11:30. 30 minutes until lunch, and you’re starving! What does your brain do? It COMPLETELY checks out. All you can think about is how hungry you are, the quickest way to exit the room your meeting is in so you can get to lunch faster, and what you’re going to order when you get there. You’re no longer concerned about what’s being said in the meeting because you simply cannot handle it. Your body is giving you cues that it needs food NOW. Not at the scheduled time.
A child’s need for vestibular input is no different. Once they need the stimulation, they will NOT learn a single thing until they receive the needed input. This is why you may have kids rolling around in your classroom, turned upside down, or doing all other manner of things that you have deemed “inappropriate” by any traditional standard of appropriate classroom decorum.
If this is true that kids can’t learn if they need movement input (and spoiler alert: it IS true!), that means it’s our responsibility as the grown up in the room to provide an opportunity for kids to get the vestibular input they need. But no teacher that I personally know has a lot of free time on their hands right now. And if we’re being honest, I’m pretty sure most of us don’t want to spend what little free time we do have to research vestibular stimulation. So here are a couple of ideas I’ve either used in my classroom or as a mom to help kids!
Dance breaks
Jumping to a beat or rhythm
Rocking (with or without music)
Bouncy bands on the bottoms of chairs
Spelling words by integrating movement with each letter (bouncing like a kangaroo on each letter, hopping like a tiger, slithering across the room like a snake while spelling). This is not my original idea! I found it from This Reading Mama. Go check out her site and resources!
There are countless ways you can integrate movement in your classroom! And they don’t have to be fancy. Even allowing a student to stand up instead of sit down during instruction can be powerful. The point is to allow and encourage movement as much as you can! Whether you’re a Go Noodle fanatic or just want to let kids take a walk and get some fresh air or anything in between, integrating movement into your day is valuable and worthwhile!
One more thing I’d like to add before we move on….
Movement should be encouraged for EVERY student, not just the one who “can’t control themselves.” Some children ask for this opportunity more than others through their negative behavior, but ALL students can benefit from the opportunity to move, whether integrated into your lesson’s content or used intermittently throughout your day, or better yet–both!
The final shift I made to save my sanity in the classroom was giving myself permission to pivot.
I mentioned earlier that I tend to like things done my way. This is my sin nature rearing its ugly head. I get stuck on things having to go “just so.” And I want them to happen in real life just the way I planned in my head.
So you can imagine that having lessons planned to go one way and then having a child have a come apart mid-lesson was definitely not a fun experience for me. I had to make a choice–stick with the original plan or change it in the moment in favor of something different that might serve students better.
Rhett has taught me throughout our years of marriage that the definition of insanity is “doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result.” Essentially, I was having to choose sanity or insanity each and every time a child had a meltdown during my class.
Luckily, I do enjoy being creative and have a flair for being dramatic, so I started giving myself permission to pivot and go in the direction students needed, even if it wasn’t what I had originally planned for a lesson. When I did, the most beautiful thing happened! I started seeing opportunities instead of obstacles, and kids started having more fun! It was a win all the way around!
If you’re in the throes of kids having lots of meltdowns in your classroom, can I encourage you that your lesson doesn’t have to be perfect? Kids aren’t looking for perfect. In fact, they’re not looking for Pinterest either! They’re looking for connection. And if it means you have to pivot to give them that, give yourself permission to go all in!
Maybe you start with a small pivot and move toward more and more creativity and flexibility, but pivots are a beautiful thing! Some of the most fun lessons I’ve taught in my years in the classroom came out of unplanned pivots! I invite you to join the fun and give a pivot a try!
Making shifts in my mindset and strategies for classroom management was not easy. But friends, this might be the best investment I’ve ever made in my classroom. It brought the spark back into my teaching and has made all the difference in engagement and connection with students over the past several years!
If you’re feeling overwhelmed with all the things that you’re afraid might need to change, start with one. That’s what I did. One small change added to another small change added to another small change is what brings a revolution!
If you’d like a little extra encouragement to help you along the way, I’d love to be that encourager for you!
If you’d like to work directly with me to figure out where to start with saving your sanity in your classroom, I’d love to help you develop your strategy in a one-on-one coaching session! Visit https://beyondthebedlam.com/coaching to set up a time to work with me!
And don’t forget to check out today’s show notes at https://beyondthebedlam.com/episode14.
Until next time, I’m in your corner cheering you on!