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Show Transcript
Welcome to Beyond the Bedlam, Episode 12!
Today we’re diving into everyone’s (not so) favorite topic. It’s all over social media, the news, and the topic of conversation among many teachers. Teachers feel tired, and the last thing they’re interested in right now is another “team building” activity.
So why would it be important for us to talk about this today?
Well, what if team building didn’t have to be a silly game or a lame outing? What if it didn’t require a bunch of added tasks on your to-do list? What if being a team player was just as much about modeling in your relationships as it was doing things with other teachers? And what if it actually benefited YOUR quality of life?
I’m really looking forward to sharing some perspective on this topic today, and I hope you’ll be encouraged by it!
Grab a pen and some caffeine and let’s get started!
Today’s topic has a lot to do with relationships, and to be honest, I realize some of you may be hurting and just need a word of encouragement about relationships before you even think about team building. And guess what? If that’s you, it’s A-ok. To be honest, the most effective teams don’t have perfect relationships, but they do have open communication and an understanding attitude toward each other.
If you find yourself struggling with a relationship with someone you care about today, whether it’s a family member or a friend, or just someone you *have* to get along with professionally, I’d like to invite you to check out episode 5 and download the free relationship refresh guide at beyondthebedlam.com/episode5.
And if you find value in these episodes, I’d be honored for you to share them with a friend or leave a review to help other teachers find this show!
As I’ve been thinking about team building and how to most effectively build relationships among others we’re working with, whether at school or at home or in the community, it really boils down to two things: attitude and action.
Before I share these ideas with you, I have to give some context. Relationships are hard. NO relationship is “easy” all the time. Sure, there are seasons of fun and enjoyment, but every relationship requires work. We are a world of broken people whose lives don’t look the way God intended them to look because of sin. We’re all messed up–myself and family included. So any relationship is going to take some extra effort on our part.
The beauty of relationships is that even though we live in a broken world, God created them for our enjoyment and for our refining. The deepest longing of any person is to be known and accepted unconditionally. So, the principles I’m sharing with you today apply to ALL relationships. Not just the team of teachers you work with every day. You can apply these principles in your home, with the children who you have the privilege of teaching, and with that really difficult to love teacher who is on your team.
So what are the attitudes that help to build a team spirit? There are so many good ones, and it was really hard to narrow it down! But for the purpose of our conversation today, I chose to look to the book of Philippians for guidance.
For those of you who have listened to this podcast for more than one episode, you probably know that I love the Lord and that it’s important to me that I’m learning to be more like Him, and I enjoy sharing that journey with you. So, today, let’s look at Philippians for a few minutes.
A little background on the story that’s going on in this book. Paul had been to Philippi with Timothy when they were traveling around telling others about Jesus. While they were there, they got put in prison for sharing the gospel. But then there was an earthquake that shook the prison open while Paul and Timothy were singing and praising God. Through that experience, the prison guard came to faith in Jesus, Paul and Timothy were released from jail, they taught other people there about the Lord, and the church at Philippi was started!
From there, Paul continued on missionary journeys to tell other people about Jesus, and now he’s in jail again when he’s writing this letter to the people who are in the church at Philippi. He’s super thankful for the gift the people in Philippi have sent him, and he uses the letter to not only tell them about his current experiences in jail, but also to point them toward Jesus as the anchor in their relationships and in their lives.
Philippians 2 includes a poem that Paul wrote about the attributes of the Lord, which are really his source of joy, even in the mess he found himself in. These characteristics are not only Paul’s source of joy, but also our source of joy today! And this joy in Christ is our anchor as we view relationships with others. It’s not necessarily a happiness all the time, but a deep and abiding joy.
So let’s pick up at the first part of Philippians 2 and read the first part of the chapter together. If you’re driving or running or washing dishes and can’t read along, no sweat. You can listen along and read it later if you like! I’ll be starting in verse 1.
So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
So what attitudes do we find in this chapter?
The first big thing I notice is an attitude that seeks others’ good before our own. Verse 3 and 4 are pretty direct about this. “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” And verses 7 and 8 show us that Jesus himself took the form of a servant and died for our ultimate good so that we could have a restored relationship with God. This was the ultimate gift and act of unselfishness!
If this isn’t your first episode, you probably already know that my husband is a licensed professional counselor. Although he does a lot of specialized work with kids from hard places and the families who are serving those kids, he also does a lot of general counseling. He can’t tell me much about his work because of codes of ethics and medical regulations, but I do know this: A lot of problems that people come into his office to discuss are rooted in selfishness. Someone was selfish and it caused a problem for someone else.
If we’re honest with ourselves, being unselfish is not easy. And I’m talking to and about myself here. It’s hard to prioritize someone else’s needs all the time. I’ll never forget when I was a kid, my parents tried to start teaching me and my sister this concept during our fights over who was going to sit in the front seat. My dad, in particular, did this. He’d ask us who wanted to show preference for the other sister when the argument would break out. One of us would eventually roll our eyes and begrudgingly offer the front seat to the other. I don’t really think this is exactly the type of unselfishness referred to in Philippians, but sometimes starting from a place of conscious decision is where we have to start in creating a team spirit. Rhett has done this for me many times in our marriage. If we were at odds, the place I was most likely to find him was at the kitchen sink washing dishes for me. To be clear, Rhett doesn’t enjoy washing dishes, but he has done this many, many times as a way of serving me and helping me to get the rest I needed so that my selfish head had time to clear and move forward. Watching him wash the dishes when I had been rude or unthoughtful to him was one of the best ways that he showed his love much earlier on in our marriage. And guess what? It softened my heart and helped me to see the ways I needed to be more Christlike without him saying a single word. To be honest, it was really humbling to have him do this. Now, he regularly helps with the dishes because he loves our family and wants to serve.
So what does considering others’ interests as more important than your own look like for you? Doing a chore your spouse hates? Helping a child with something that is just too much for them to emotionally handle when you really need them to get their work done at school? Making your teammate’s copies so they can tend to something else? It might be something really simple, but I promise the impact of your choice will eventually make a positive difference.
Before we move on, I do want to point out that having an attitude of service doesn’t mean ignoring your own needs and being a doormat for everyone else to walk all over. But it does mean putting others’ needs as a priority for you to help with.
Another big attitude I see in Philippians 2 is a cheerful disposition. Later on in the chapter in verse 14, Paul goes on to encourage the people in the church at Philippi to do all things without grumbling or complaining as a result of their
OUCH. How many times do I complain about what I have to do? How many times do I complain about the way someone else is approaching a situation? More times than I’m proud to admit.
I’m going to be honest, here. Teachers right now are being asked to do waaaaayyy more than is possible for one person to reasonably handle right now. So it’s easy to see where many teachers choose to complain and grumble. Life is hard right now.
So how in the world do we take an attitude of not grumbling and complaining? I think our answer is found in Philippians chapters 3 and 4, which both start by the first few verses in the chapter with encouragement to rejoice in the Lord!
And what does that look like?
Sometimes it’s an attitude of thankfulness for the Lord’s work in our lives.
Sometimes it’s choosing to see and talk about the Lord’s work in our day when we’d rather number off all the “broken” things we noticed or experienced during our day.
Sometimes it’s choosing to assume the best about a coworker or spouse or child. Maybe they didn’t have mal-intent when they said or did something hurtful.
Sometimes it’s flipping the script in our mind and changing the narrative that we’ve chosen to dwell on. Proverbs 17:22 gives such important wisdom that “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” So every time we spread the dread and agonize over what we’ve been tasked with doing, we wilt our coworkers, spouses, and kids a little more. Imagine how life-giving it would be if we chose to speak something positive instead!
And often, not grumbling and complaining means choosing to make our mind think about something else besides the overwhelm. I personally have found Philippians 4:8 to be helpful to me in knowing what I *should* be thinking about instead of grumbling: things that are just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, praiseworthy. Maybe it’s making an album on your camera of things that are those things that are lovely and excellent to help you remember and pulling it out to flip through when you find yourself ready to complain and grumble!
There are so many things we can learn from the life and ministry of Jesus. The most important, though, is trusting Him as the anchor of our joy in relationships.
Relationships won’t always be fun or easy. But encouraging others by serving and sharing a positive disposition will go a long way in creating a safe and welcoming environment and team spirit for learning and life!
The impact of your choice to serve and encourage may not be immediate, but as we practice these attitudes and actions and find our joy in the Lord instead of our circumstances, others will take notice. And then? You’ll start to see the ripple effect of the Lord’s work in others’ lives through you!
Friends, I’m so glad you’ve joined us today. I can’t wait to visit with you again, and until then, I’m in your corner cheering you on!
If you’ve enjoyed today’s show, remember to subscribe to the podcast before you close your app so you won’t miss future tips, tricks, and triumphs we’ll share along the way! And I’d be honored for you to share this podcast with a teacher mom friend who might be encouraged by listening along too! Talk with you soon!